Fasting for Finances

My church is doing an entertainment fast. I really think this is so appropriate for today. I think people give up food all the time for different reasons but we never give up entertainment for God. I am fasting Facebook and desserts. Some may think, "desserts aren't entertainment" but my reasons are 1. God told me to and 2. They bring me more satisfaction than spending time with God. I find joy in their sugary sweetness, which is not appropriate. It was entertainment for me. I was entertaining my taste buds. I have made it 24 hours and today I am really feeling the withdraws of no Facebook and desserts. I have done my devotions, prayed and sang praise and worship songs. I know God will be faithful and speak to me during this time.  I am fasting for answers and guidance for this year. I am expecting financial breakthrough this year. I am also debating a business license and I really want God's direction. I am believing for favor on Kris at work as well.

I read a fantastic devotional today and I want to share some of it with you. It was written by Marybeth Whalen and I read it from the Proverbs 31 Ministries website. (http://devotions.proverbs31.org) I was extremely blessed by this word. I cried as I read it. This is EXACTLY how I feel right now.

"...As I read this passage (Judges 7) I thought of another time a soldier wanted to know the numbers he was dealing with. First Chronicles 21:1 tells us that King David was enticed by Satan to count his men. He knew that if he could get David’s focus on the numbers instead of on God, he’d gain access to David’s thoughts and trust. These two biblical examples were a good wakeup call. God was trying to teach me to stop trusting in numbers – specifically in bank account numbers. He was gently reminding me that—as good as an emergency fund is—I can really only trust in Him. I didn’t need to worry about my balance or my battlefield. I only had to believe He would supply all I need."

This was a fantastic reminder that I do not trust in numbers or USAA (my bank). I trust in God. Our currency is printed with "In God We Trust" and I am trusting the money and how much of it I have. No, God will supply our needs. I trust HIM, not money. I trust HIM, not what my bank account says. Here is the prayer that Marybeth shared with us. I share it with you so you know how I am praying for my family and you can agree with me and you can also pray for your own.

"Dear Lord, my numbers don’t look good right now. The statistics are stacked against me. The account balance doesn’t make sense. I’m in the red. I feel like I’m facing impossible odds. And yet, today I feel a spark of hope. Please fan it into a flame of complete trust—not in numbers, but in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen."

Heavenly Riches

Ephesians 1:18-19a, “I pray that the eyes of your heart my be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” (NIV)

I am believing God for big financial breakthrough this year. I don't mean the little "bless our finances so we can pay bills", I am talking credit card paid off, vehicles paid off, 6 months of savings and STILL able to do our Disney trip. We are taking Konor to Disney for his 3rd birthday (January 2013) and will use our dividends, but I am also expecting unexpected deals, things for free and sunny Cali days while we are there. But I digress.

I have been really feeling like I have been putting God in this little box and I trust he can see us through and get us through as we trust him, but I haven't really let him out of that box. I want to see him glorified in the way he can bless us. I want it to lead my unsaved family members to Christ. I want it to lead my unsaved friends to Christ. I want my friends and family that are questioning the awesomeness of God to see his mighty works and his faithfulness and turn to Christ. I do not want to boast about anything I do, but what My Heavenly Father is doing in my family. It's not about me, Kris or Konor. God loves my family. He wants to bless my family.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.--Ephesians 3:20

I have been so hungry for verses from the Bible that talk about God's power and how he can move. What he can give us when we trust him. That is so much easier said than done. To have a faith and trust in a God that you can't see or touch, but I know 100% he is there. I am not ashamed to trust him and give everything of me to him. Money means nothing, but unfortunately it can become more godlike to many. I was so dependent on how much I could make, what Kris could make and how we could make more. Now I am so excited to see how God is going to move! I have this HUGE stiring in me that I just can't contain my joy! I want to laugh, cry, jump up and down and scream all at once! I have no idea what God is going to do, but I feel a big breakthrough coming on for the O'Brien's. We wanted to fix up and sell our house this year, but in the last few days I just really felt it wasn't the right time, but that next year we'll be in a better place to at least fix it up. Maybe sell in 2014, who knows. This point is, God is talking to me more about our finances and for once since we've been married we are going to listen.

God has never let us down. I think we've tithed 10% in the past, but got lazy or worse, stressed that if we tithed we wouldn't have enough. There was no trust there, yet every time Kris and I would talk about tithing again we'd immediately recall the goodness of God and the favor he has had on us. I am not holding back my "thanks" to God, but I rejoice NOW when I have no idea what God is going to do and we have little money in our account. It doesn't matter to me, I trust God. Fully. Completely. 

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."--Luke 6:38

I have not had to scramble to find verses of God's promises in taking care of us. The Holy Spirit has been reminding me of verses I have known for years. I leap for joy and smile and want to bust out of my skin I get so excited!!! He continually talks about giving and he will bless you more! It is not WHY I give. I don't give so I get a bigger blessing, I give because I trust God. There will be a time when what I expected him to give, he doesn't. He will continually draw us in deeper and closer to him. I don't have to wait to get to Heaven to have a deep, strong relationship with him. I went to Rhema Bible Training Center for one year and I will never forget Brother Hagin saying in class, "there was a time that Jesus was more real to me than my wife sitting next to me". WHOA! 

Since I started staying home, one verse has ALWAYS been an encouragement to me. Matthew 7:9-11. It is water for my thirsty soul. It nourishes me as no other verse has lately. It made me fall deeper in love with Jesus because I knew, no matter what this stay at home mom career brought me, I was safe in his arms. 

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

This is the life example, living out my faith, that I want to give to Konor and all that surround me. His promises are YES! and AMEN!

A Stay at Home Mom has Issues Too.

So now that I am home full time now,  I actually had to deal with a bout of depression. I don't like how I ended up leaving my job of over 5 years and a part of me felt guilty that I couldn't balance it. I left thread on good terms and really love that agency but I didn't give it my all and that was discouraging. To make it worse, the founder of the Parent Coaching Institute told me that I was not doing a good enough job to pass course 2. Ugh, I wasn't giving THAT my all either. To put the icing on this cake, my husband was a stressed about the bills, house, overtime and making sure I get certain things done during the day. He wasn't nagging or mean, and I actually agreed with him, but it was more to feel guilty about. I wasn't giving my all to anything. I stopped exercising. I ate horribly. I wasn't happy. I left thread in September, the 23rd, and I began caring for a sweet infant with Konor on October 3rd. It was such a hard transition. The little boy is so sweet and so is my son but I had NO clue how to stay home. I didn't know how to balance or manage anything and I was exhausted all the time. I thought something was wrong with me!

Kris suggested we get a gym membership so I have somewhere healthy to go instead of a coffeeshop or fast food joint to let the kids play. We started going to the Alaska Club and it's been great! I've lost 10lbs and if I ate better, I am sure I could have lost 20lbs.  But I'm a work in progress. I made it through Course 2 of the PCI after begging and pleading.  I then decided it was time to take a break, so I currently am on a 3 month break. I am enjoying that immensely! I love that I don't have the commitment taking up some time. I am using this extra time to figure out how to be a stay at home mom. I have a part time job at ChangePoint Church. It's only 9 hours a week right now and at night. Konor comes with me and is the chlid care area for free. FABULOUS! It gives us a little extra money, so that's great. Kris doesn't have OT at work right now so it's been great having him home on time.

During all this transition I have had to really rely on God. I have trusted him with so many things and I know he is faithful. However, through this I have really held on to whatever little money we do have to pay our bills and do anything "extra" with. I was not trusting God that he could do more than just make sure my bills are paid, but that he can BLESS us abundantly if we just trust him. Every time I'd bring it up to Kris and we'd have a discussion, he would agree and he'd be on board but I would hold us back. I was standing in the way of true blessings in my family. That's an awful feeling! So recently I just stopped and said "NO MORE"! I don't want to just pay my bills and bite my nails hoping we get through to the next paycheck. God wants me to be a stay at home mom. He knows our bills and the things we want to do like remodel our kitchen and get out of debt. So I am choosing to trust him. That's a different blog post though. :)

So my battle of feeling guilty that I was no good at staying home really depressed me. I felt I wasn't good anywhere. I wasn't a good employee, mom or friend. It was really weighing on me. I had to get organized and figure it out. I love my husband because he really lets me talk to him about how I feel then he tries to make my life so much easier. He is so amazing. I had the exercise routine down, it is really helpful but I needed to figure out how to get chores done at home, spend time with the kids and the dogs and still feel like I have enough energy to be an adult and talk with Kris when he came home. I am still trying to figure it out and I have great days, ok days and bad days... But I rely a lot on God. I have been a working mom and a stay at home mom. Both are hard. There is no "easy" way to be a mom. I have cherished nap time and I take naps every so often. I am praying over some ideas that I have. I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife, so I am praying about some business ventures that I want God to have control over. I want to always be home with my kids and this can make a way. I want my husband home at a decent hour every night and so I am praying over that as well.

So Stay at Home mom's have issues. I am so lucky to experience them!