Feeling Sick and Still Being Mama

Last week, November 8-12th to be exact, I had the worst migraine in my life. I couldn't move, I couldn't see and I just wanted to sleep. It was awful. I also had a fever that hovered around 102, it got as high as 105, but it quickly went down from there. I went to the doctor and was told I had a viral infection but that I was on the mend. That was Friday. So I didn't trust that and I went to the Alaska Neurology Center and got an official diagnosis, and pills, for migraines. Praise God cause that really sucked. I was never contagious but being a Mama and that sick is really really hard. I don't know how single parents do it all.

I will say that being that sick was about the only time I have ever been extremely thankful for Konor's school. I was able to be home alone all day and he was at school. We have no family here, at least no family that will watch Konor, so it's really hard when sticky situations come up. Konor's school is only open 7:30-4:30 so I still had to get him before 5, which I would have much rather still been in bed. There is no option for Kris to pick him up. But my husband being the amazing blessing that he is, took Konor to school every day. I really don't know what I would do without him.

I still felt kinda sick over the weekend too, so we just took it slow. I was told by the Doctor at the Neurology center to keep a headache and sleep journal. Well, I get no sleep so that's pretty easy. When he told me to try to get more rest I just laughed. "I'll sleep when my son lets me",  is all I said. Today I prayed that Konor would begin to sleep through the night. I don't believe in letting him "cry it out". I don't run to his room the moment he starts to whimper, but to let him scream and cry until he falls alseep? No way. I just think about his social/emotional development and I want him to know he can trust that I will be around when he needs me. That he's not just out in the world alone. He'll sleep through the night eventually. Everyone ends up sleeping through the night. Are there really any 10 year olds getting up every 2 hours to eat? No. I catch up on sleep on Saturday and Sunday, thanks to my husband. I think once Konor is over a year and if he is still doing this then I'll move onto more drastic measures. He surprises me though. Some nights he'll sleep for 6 hours straight, then 3, then 2 all in one night. Then for a few days or so he's up every 1.5-2 hours. Lame. It's worse when I don't feel good, like last week. And I had to crawl out of bed and make my way into his room and pick him up. He did really good the night I felt my worst. He slept for 6 hours, then 4 hours, then my husband took him to school. So I can't REALLY complain.

My son means more to me than any thing. So when I am sick I am still happy to take care of him. It breaks my heart when I can't be 100% with him though. I don't like not being completely present with him, but I think he's intuitive enough to understand. Without my husband though, I would fail at being a mom. He keeps me going when I think I have nothing left to give. We're a good team. Konor is one lucky little guy.